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This is what Procrastination looks like

While reading a nutrition magazine this morning, I learned that one ostrich egg can feed ten people. Damn, I knew I should have made my chicken pen taller.


The average hen will lay 300-325 eggs a year. My big slackers haven’t dropped a single egg yet. Losers.


Apparently, Americans eat 350 slices of pizza a second. Every single second? I guess that is possible considering all the college kids in the country who wake and take a bite of stale, cold pizza left from last night’s orgy. I know that Kent can definitely drive up the piece per second number when we take him to the “all you can eat” pizza buffet.


It takes 7-10 days to make one jellybean. Now, this is awfully interesting. Why, I wonder.  I’ve never made jellybeans from scratch. I don’t even have a single jellybean recipe. I’ve been thinking I’ll make wine vinegar from scratch when we move into the new house, because I’ve read about the process and it sounds cool . Wine vinegar takes a few months to ferment and is a little like keeping a crock filled with sourdough starter (another thing I’ll be doing) because you add to the original starter for years to get the best, heirloom flavor. But jellybeans are apparently a slow cooking delicacy all their own. I’d like to try it, but it might be over my amateur cook’s head. Would hate to attempt something that would shake my cooking confidence. Besides which, I might piss off the Easter bunny if I infringe on his monopoly and we can’t have that.


Forty percent of the world’s almonds are used in chocolate bars. Amazing. Obviously, Hershey’s with almonds are more popular than Chicken Almandine. Sad, that.


And I wonder how I survived all these years not knowing that 6000 BC was the approximate year that soups included hippopotamus bones. I haven’t tried that recipe either. Here I thought I was an adventurous cook, and I find out I’ve barely scratched the surface of dish possibilities.


That is about all I gained from this “Nutrition for the Active Woman” magazine, a collector’s issue from “Oxygen”. The recipes are all a bit too organic for me – I like healthy cooking and all, but when every recipe calls for soymilk, mirin, yazu citrus juice (I don’t even know what that is) and juice from pomegranates, I figure the end result will not be worth the effort. It goes against my “use what is in the cupboard” rule. Not that this rule imposes any particular challenge for me considering, like most enthusiastic cooks, I have such a diverse and overstocked cupboard. But I am almost certain I am out of yazu this week.  Actually, there is one recipe I cut out from the magazine, but only because it was a diety winter broccoli soup that looked appealing. I had to make my 4.99 investment pay off in some way.


By the way, the magazine didn’t include a single recipe for Ostrich eggs, which is sort of a tease if you ask me since they bothered to point out how far they stretch.


I am procrastinating, obviously. It is raining again and I don’t want to do homework again. But I must. I can’t keep avoiding my book, even though it has become torture to revise recently. (Revision still puts me to sleep.)  If I ate with better nutrition, perhaps I’d have more energy to face my endless homework pile. In fact, perhaps that means I should make myself a cup of coffee and sit on the couch and re-read this Nutrition magazine for another hour . . . in the interest of getting my homework done, or course. . . .




About Ginny East Shaddock

Ginny is the owner of Heartwood Yoga Institute. She is an ERYT-500 Yoga teacher, C-IAYT Yoga therapist, RCYT & Ayurveda Counselor who loves nature, gardening, and creative arts. She has an MFA in creative writing from Lesley University, and a BA in Business Administration from Eckerd College. She teaches writing and is the creator of the memoir writing program, "Yoga on the Page" combining the teaching of yoga to writing personal stories with integrity, intention, and heart.

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