Shopping to avoid work

I have MFA overload, so I will write one more blog to avoid my work.

I spent the morning shopping. Probably not shopping for the kinds of things you or your spouse shopped for today. No, I was shopping at home- browsing my favorite publication, The Northwest Georgia Trader. This little book can be picked up for 99 cents at every gas station near and far – I buy it every week. The publication allows people to place ads for free and just about anything you think of is in there, even kitchen sinks. It’s like a countywide garage sale on paper.

I like to see what people think is worth money. I laugh when checking out the “miscellaneous” column because of the odd, eclectic items featured. Everything from toys and tires to wedding dresses and army helmet planters sit in tiny-boxed ads to flag a potential customer. They have an animal section. I always marvel at how many dogs are for sale, and sadly, just as many are “free”, one-step away from being dumped on the side of the road or put in a sack and thrown into the river with a rock. There are tons of cars and boats and cabin rentals in designated columns. However, what I am looking for is always found in the “Farm animal and supply” category. Good stuff there.

Two weeks ago, they had a chicken house. I got excited, until I saw it was a huge chicken house – the kind that houses over 1000 chickens. Um…. I’m not that much of a hobbyist. There are dozens of horses, cows, rabbits, chickens, peacocks, and you name it for sale or trade.

However, what I am looking for today is a llama. Dahli is lonely and needs a companion. Last week there was a llama for sale, but it was male. Two males will fight (unless I get Dahli nurtured), so I am looking for a female. And you know what that means – Dalhi’s woman will probably be a mama llama by spring. Fun. I am also hoping for a white llama, because I am an equal opportunity llama employer.  

This week, someone is selling a set of llamas, a male, female and their 5-month-old baby. I told Mark it was a shame they weren’t just selling a female. I asked if he thought they would break up the family.

He said, “Probably not, but they might sell the baby. Is it a male or female?”

Duh, I hadn’t considered that possibility. Would be perfect though, because a young llama is easily trained and I would have time (while it matured) to prepare for little llamas popping up all over the place.

I commented that perhaps we should do some research before we buy a female because we don’t exactly need a herd of llamas taking over our pasture. Of course, after we had one baby, if we didn’t like it, we could have Dahli nurtured.

Mark said that we could simply sell future offspring, which would offset the cost of keeping the animals. I could start a little llama business to support my interest.

I suppose that is a possibility. I mean, I would have to have an in depth interview with potential adopter’s and check their home facility, their financial position, their temperament and ask their long-term intentions. I’d need a yearly report, with pictures, of course, and the new owners would have to endure spot inspections should I wish to make them to assure the on-going well-being of the llama youth. Yea, I could sell Dahli’s babies under these conditions. No problem.

So, I just now called and left a message on the person’s answering machine inquiring about the baby llama’s color and sex. My message explained that I am looking for a companion llama for an un-neutered  male, preferably a light color. I figure that way, they can consider selling their female independently, without being put on the spot. I’m hoping they call back and say the baby is a white female and to come get her.

Now that I’ve put that potential acquisition in motion, I must move on to my next shopping task. I need to hire someone to build a llama shed in the field (because the rains are coming) and a windbreak for the horses (because I can tell it is going to take a while before we get to this barn project – and the rains are coming) and a chicken house (because my cute baby chicks are now big ol birds with Perdue sized turds and I need to get them out of the cage, off my porch and away from this cabin. . . even though I do love the sound of that crowing – and this particular endeavor has nothing at all to do with the rains coming.)

But I don’t have much more time for shopping. It is “early release day” at school. The kids are excused at 1:00. I will pick them up and take Neva to the land to go riding. We finally have a ring set up so she can practice safely. Today will be the first time we use it. Of course, it looks a bit like rain. Drat.

Tonight we will all be going to the football game. My son is in the marching band. Ha, it figures that I’d be one to go to the game for the music instead of the sport. This is the first time we will hear him play, other than loud practices on the field that we’ve heard from our car whenever we show up early to pick him up. The band is great – this school has won the state championship for 16 years in a row, and the band director has no intention of breaking that winning streak anytime soon. Kent is a percussionist, one of the stronger ones in the group. I guess a year of private drum lessons has paid off. (He is also talking about organizing a rock ‘n roll band with some friends.) and of course, he can march in any formation without faltering. All that dance training was bound to come in handy one way or another.

He loves band, and I love it because he loves it. I just took a run this morning specifically so I can eat a hot dog tonight without guilt. Of course, it looks a bit like rain. Drat.

Kent will wear his uniform for the first and last time tonight, because they are getting new uniforms next week. If it does rain, well, at least we will only be soaking an old suit. . . and me in the stands, I guess. One more “Drat” for that.

Time to go. My riveting (maybe wet) day, four hungry horses and one lonely llama, need my attention. My homework needs attention too, but I’m ignoring that particular whine today.